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Dealing With Criticism
M I C H A E L T H O M
A S
We've all been told unpleasant
things. "You're not doing this right.... You could've done this better...
You're not as good at this as he is...." Criticism, justified or
not, is a part of life, so how can we benefit from it?
Listen To It
As painful as it is to hear our critics, they are often telling us truthful
things about ourselves. They may not always tell us for the right reasons,
but most of the time they have found something in our lives that is lacking
- which is why they are pleased to tell us. Before we react emotionally
through pride, we should humble ourselves by listening to what others
have to say. We may hear something we need to know. "Give instruction
to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; Teach a just man, and he will
increase in learning" (Proverbs 9:9).
Correct It
No discipline is pleasant, not even from God, but "afterward it yields
the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by
it" (Hebrews 12:11). I may growl at those who shoot me down from
the lofty opinion I hold of myself, but when the smoke is cleared, and
I finally stop attacking my critics, I may be left with behavior that
still needs correcting as well as a newly damaged ego. If we discard every
negative comment someone says to us we will never improve. "A wise
man fears and departs from evil, But a fool rages and is self-confident"
(Proverbs 14:16).
Ignore It
Lest we think that all criticism is good, let me also emphasize that
some of it is not worth listening to. There are a lot of people who are
filled with "bitter envy and self-seeking" in their hearts, who
"boast and lie against the truth," even among God's people (James
3:14; 2 Corinthians 12:20). In cases as these, we should:
- remember that we too can be / have been overcritical (read Ecclesiastes
7:21,22);
- commit ourselves to Him who judges righteously (1 Peter 2:23);
- and pray for those who spitefully use us (Matthew 5:45).
The main thing is that we do not become an unjust critic ourselves. We
all will be tempted to strike back at those who hurt us or tell us to
repent. Whatever the case, let us not suffer as "an evildoer, or as a
busybody in other people's matters," but as a Christian. This may mean
we hold our tongue while hearing unpleasant things about ourselves, but
that's okay because you can "Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you"
(Proverbs 9:8).
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