“CHURCH FOOTBALL”
The Other Sunday Sport
Author Unknown via  Bulletin Digest

"Quarterback Sneak" - Church members quietly leaving during the Invitation.

"Halftime" - The period between Bible class and worship when many choose to leave while others choose to arrive.

"Bench Warmer" - Those who do nothing but just sit and act bored.

"Backfield in Motion" - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service. — they forget they are supposed to do this before service begins.

"Staying in the Pocket" - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

"Two Minute Warning" - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and you begin to gather up your children and belongings.

"Sudden Death" - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes into overtime.

"Trap" - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

"End Run" - Getting out of the church building quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow members.

"Flex Defense" - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life in any way.

"Halfback Option" - The decision of 50% of the congregation not, to return for the evening service.

"Blitz" - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

More information and flyers will be available.

September Calendar
The September edition of the Activities Calendar and Men to Serve List is available today in the foyer.

PM Fellowship Tonight
We will meet this evening after the PM worship services in honor of the August birthdays and anniversaries. All members and guests are invited.

5th Wednesday Devotional
This coming Wednesday is the fifth Wednesday this month and the time the elders have set aside for a devotional in the auditorium instead of our regular classes. Please plan to attend and participate.

Ladies’ Work Group
The Ladies’ Work Group is scheduled to meet tomorrow (Monday) evening at 7:00 in the Ladies’ work room. All of our ladies are invited.

Conscience warns us as a friend before it punishes us as a judge.